This is the End

I choose here to end this.

I choose to cut off its head,
poison dripping from fangs
into my wounded soul.

I choose to bury it
on sacred ground
that it might never
bite again.

I choose the coward's
way out
because all else has
failed me miserably.

I shut the door.
I lose the key.
I turn my back.
I walk away.

I cannot take this
one more time.

Epitaph

I feel like a soda bottle
lid screwed off one too many times
fizz seeping away a little more
each time

the coveted prize
stamped so clearly on my head
remains elusive
no matter how I try

I know only this:
the words written inside that
lid
will guide this world to
knowing this soul
when it is gone
by words carved deeply
into the stone:

"Sorry, not a winner.
Please try again."

nameless here forever more

I am dying inside.

I have been for years I suppose.
It is just brought home more vividly this day.

One to whom I had dedicated my emotions has said no and expects

me to just take it and move on like it was no big deal.

Fuck him.

I do not accept.

My heart, my affections are not toys to be dicarded when you no longer care about
them.
I am a living breathing person and I deserve that respect.

I am so sick of this.

I never get anything in this life that I want.
no person.
no thing.
no answer.
no rhyme or reason.


What i want doesn’t seem unreasonable to me.
A person to walk with who gives a fuck what I feel and am.
A place to be with that person.
A time of relative peace in this soul, without having to resort to a frontal lobotomy

there is no place for people like me, who are born out side the parameters all the other mundanes choose to live in. I am a poet, a player of words, a mirror for the human condition

If I am truly a reflection of the honest level of that condition right now,
this species is in a shit load of trouble. I am falling apart, for lack of the right kind of nurturing ever being present in this lifetime.
No one wants to nurture the wounded.

no one wants to admit we exist,
though we are but you , living in honesty.

there is only one reason I have not yet stopped my own pain :
karmic law.
It would require that I do it all over again.

I tell you now
that excuse is running thinner by the hour.

Requiem

Two pennies for my eyes
Let them not forget
The ferry man will pass me by
and I the world to wander

It seems the world
Has no solace
for lonely souls
as I

I get to crossroads
to find the way blocked
and I cannot see
which way to turn

Left,right
forward,back
they are the only choices

unless I choose to jump
the track
and leave the beaten path

so remember the old ways for me
pay the ferryman his due
Close these eyes to all the world
that I might start anew.

one more time, it seems

love is a cheat
played upon the soul
like so many games
at the penny arcade

a handful of coins
to be spent or hoarded
as wisdom says
if only I’d known

I would have
put them aside
to waste at
another time

a diffferent soul
to spend my
time upon

a waste of change
thrown to the world
by one too naive
to know the difference

Now I stand here
penniless
ashamed
defeated
yet again


the runes said
this pattern
could not
be repeated
without
consequence

I did not take
The Gods
seriously

such am I
made into Icarus


Would that it was enough
to burn me away
to mere ash

As it is
I plummet to
the ground

little more than
a puddle of
useless wax

Yet again
has that deceiver Love
left me damned

damned forever
here
to question my
Self

I accept now
that I am to be alone
for whatever
reason
whatever karma
I have earned
through folly large
or small

I will cease to ask
for any further boon

and ask only of
the One
that It teach me dispassion


that I might never feel like this

again.






I love you anyway
no distance
no time
no other person

will ever change that.