nameless here forever more

I am dying inside.

I have been for years I suppose.
It is just brought home more vividly this day.

One to whom I had dedicated my emotions has said no and expects

me to just take it and move on like it was no big deal.

Fuck him.

I do not accept.

My heart, my affections are not toys to be dicarded when you no longer care about
them.
I am a living breathing person and I deserve that respect.

I am so sick of this.

I never get anything in this life that I want.
no person.
no thing.
no answer.
no rhyme or reason.


What i want doesn’t seem unreasonable to me.
A person to walk with who gives a fuck what I feel and am.
A place to be with that person.
A time of relative peace in this soul, without having to resort to a frontal lobotomy

there is no place for people like me, who are born out side the parameters all the other mundanes choose to live in. I am a poet, a player of words, a mirror for the human condition

If I am truly a reflection of the honest level of that condition right now,
this species is in a shit load of trouble. I am falling apart, for lack of the right kind of nurturing ever being present in this lifetime.
No one wants to nurture the wounded.

no one wants to admit we exist,
though we are but you , living in honesty.

there is only one reason I have not yet stopped my own pain :
karmic law.
It would require that I do it all over again.

I tell you now
that excuse is running thinner by the hour.