05-10-82

Why do I travail so?
I know you are out of my reach,
Out of the scope of my possession
Though I would never try to own
Such a high-flying bird.

Why do I pine over a face?
It is a face that shall be Wisdom
to some, though I don't think it knows
But I think my thoughts are too radical;
I am setting myself up for a letdown.

I hope you never fall out of grace,dear one,
Never come to question what seems
to make you happy now.
Though the woman in me would like
To permeate your private side,
The spirit in me sees much
That is to become of you.
You are strangely wise for your years,
Yet flooded with amazing innocence.
I hope they shall both be your friend
And not your demise.








*********************************************************************





I cannot bend my knee to pray-
You see, my "god" and I just discuss
Things, when the world gets out of hand.
All the books, all the rabble-rousing
of religion are most distressing to me.


My god is Infinite (good name for it, too.)
My god is everyone and thing known
And a lot more that isn't.
I do not expect hellfire, nor sympathy,
but Patience and a Shoulder to lean on
When this Lesson I am here for
Gets me down.

There really isn't much more to it than that.


I am an infant piece of a gigantic....Existence.
So are you.
Why make more of it than that,
when all that is required
Is that you be happy,
that you work hard,
and that you know eventually,
through you Lessons,
You will fill the space made for you
before our limited scope as humans
sought to measure Time.


There's the only catch:
It's simple.
Simplicity seems to escape humans.

So they invented complexity.
Now we have 3 pieces to the Puzzle,
and the rest of us just sit about
wondering if someday we'll be
graced with the chance to
be part of a part of a Piece.
Better yet, why not call it
PEACE.

But we were never less than
The Whole of It.
children of God?
No, a piece of God Itself.
(I put no limits, not even a sex, to the Is.)
In fact, blasphemous as it would be said to be,
We are God.

That's putting it in plain English.
Only, despite being plain,
It is still far fromthat easy.
I mean, I'm talking of a Universe.
Do you realise how vast that is?
No, you can't.
It is beyond human comprehension at this point.
Perhaps someday.

But it is a lot bigger than this continent,
Or our beautiful Terra
Or even our Solar system.


Still, we are one with all of It
and It with all of us.
I hope someday to help you feel
The Pulse of the Universe,
the very movement of Life Itself,....

the very breath of God.

..................................

All Hallow's Eve '93

leaves scurry across the walk
trees groan; hear them talk
cool moon glides between clouds
shades slip past, cloaked in shrouds

embers flicker inside gourd eyes
gleaning truth from each disguise
flames leap high; wind moans low
smoke casts ghosts amid the glow

hear the footsteps of Samhain, children
know that death glides by your door
remember the year past beside the Cauldron
keep the wisdom of the ancient lore

Rising to the Sleep (07-26-94)

The crickets chirr
The birds chirp awake
Apollo creeps over the horizon
Reminding us the darkness has an end

In the mind's eye, I see
The movements of man and spirit
Fighting for freedom

Why is the battle so hard

The daybreak brings relief
from those things bottled inside
A respite from the battles
of will against soul

I know the grounds too well
They haunt my sleep
and my waking day

To walk across the Barrier is no joy

I am separate from Them
Yet I live side by side
Destined to know an outcome
I can't explain

Why.

Why to be so aware
Why to carry a pain
That has no words

Why to find peace
In the solitude of night
Where dreams are Morpheus' reality

The daylight creeps past
Burning my eyes away
Turning on a reality I deny

where is the peace I am promised

I am locked away
In a world of illusion
How do I explain which is which

You see only half of it
And I cannot join in your dance


Apollo is rising
Sweet Luna regrets time lost
And I ponder the dusk
Of the World

Close my eyes, sweet Morpheus
Consume me in the burning of the chariot
Close my ears to unreal sound
Take away the weight
I can no longer carry it.

So be it.

10-22-96

Winter comes.
Somehow it shows in the sunset.
sol is dimmer than before,
As though dying like the Oak King.

Winter comes.
The winds cool the night,
Chill the morning,
To remind us that after life is death.

Winter comes.
The smell on the wind
sings of sleeping trees
and the bush babies curling up tightly.

Winter comes.
She presses her hard hands
Against the land
and all that breathes soon sleeps.

Winter comes.
We must wait now,
Wait for the breath of the Goddess
to warm us again.


Yes, winter comes.

Butterflies In My Window and Out (9-24-96)

I see my shadow on the pillow
like a lover's profile in the night
creeping ever closer
Like the impending dawn

They've passed through my life
little bits of soul
Fluttering softly over my head
I wonder where each is going to

They creep through my memory
Somehow leaving marks
Which are yet unseen
by the outside world

Not unlike the silent passing of seasons

Here, locked in memory's embrace,
I am warm and safe again
the remembrance of past
and tentative future caress me tonight.

Butterflies through my window and out
I wonder to myself
lost in the reverie here,now,
when one will light for good.

8-27-96

Do you see?
The change in the clouds....
The silent passing of bird & beast....
The change in the temper of the trees?

Do you feel?
The movement of Gaia from her Consort...
The subtle decrease of summer heat...
The need to feed & nest in us all...

Do you hear?
The changing calls of those who travel southward...
The whispering song of grass and briar...
The soft soft call of cooler winter winds?


We move so quickly through this world,
Now we fail to notice the quiet signs.
Be aware, brother & sister.
The changes coming are not just
for a season.
Without growth there is no life.
We are stagnant now.
This,too, must pass.....

'96 (1)

Distant places.
Flags snap and curl in the wind
Traveling on.
Waves warp to our sides,
pointing thw way.

Valleys, and mountains.
The ship rumbles a lullabye underneath.
Glaciers and geysers.
Tumbling, ever forward, we cut
through the pale night.





(I adore Iceland.)

Different Drummer 7-30-96

the words do come slowly
don't they, little fawn?
To bridge the gap
between what you
feel and what
you say

takes the stuff of heroes

I am a painter of words
the master of colour
and tone
borne from the hues
of us called emotion

It is to flay the soul
wide unto the world
that is my task
alas,
it is usually my
own that suffers

But, nay, there's the trick
It is in the expression
that we come most
to life

La Chanson de Ma Coeur/ La Cancion del Corazon (6-28-04)

you make my heart sing
when I least expect it
The lay of your lashes
against your cheek
The curve of your neck
against the sheet

I watch you in the morning
light,softly sleeping
The rise & fall of your breath
as soothing as ocean waves
& I wonder if I am
still dreaming

It is said of men
that to love for them
is enough
And of women it is
that they know
they serve
in loving

I have searched so long
in this lifetime
for one to share it with
That I often talk myself
out of what I've found
such as your lovely smile

Is it not strange
to any other
that I live for that
briefest of moments
when you hold my
eyes in yours
and smile as though
we were one

In the end
in truth
it is all I have
and it sustains me
until the next one

You do so make my heart sing.

august '85

Glass books
Sell shattered
Dreams
Folding outward to
Cover the landscape
of Reality
Filling pages
With empty
Metaphors full
Of the travails of
Mankind
No sympathy or
Thought for a uniformity
To the universe

2003 (3)

Heart of my world
The loneliest place on Earth
I have walked here too long
Alone.

Will I ever know joy again
Wrapped luxuriously in the arms
of a man, fair and strong.

Or am I condemned by time
And shyness to pine for one
who will never know my name.

I do not fear the future.

I fear facing it alone.




*************************************************


I look for a balm,
a salve to heal me within

I seek from outside myself
To heal the soul within

Failing in my fear, my flight,
That is the only within that shall
provide true succour.

I seek someone else to tend to wounds
That I do not have the strength to show them.

That is bound for failure.

In partnership is wholeness, true
But to be in such means knowing one's Self.

Me...meet myself.

2003 (2)

Hurt me.

It used to feel good.

Now it echoes thru
the halls of my
soul,
reminding me that
time is passing.

How long before it
all sighs to a
halt
and I die.

I wish I knew.


***************************************************

what may be mistaken for enigma
may be merely shyness
How far away when so close
Hard to imagine a tougher spot

What I wouldn't give to know you
and you shut the door resoundingly
I am not so brave
as to try again

and it hurts.



**************************************************

Never put a person on a pedestal
most can't step off without falling
And in the failing your world
will shattered

Never place your expectations
on a mere image
The picture will taint as it ages
and leave you with nothing




**************************************************
(wow. Depressing aren't I?)

2003

sulfur erupts through my skin
Speaking of the hell within
Smalls bursts of venom
Composed of words I dare not say.

What dilutes sulfuric fire
What is it that can drive it out the body

Is it too much I Me Me Mine
and not enough interaction
that clogs my pores to unbreathing

april 2003

Days fly past.
I hardly notice them
until I look behind
to see them washing away
on the tides of time.

Wither goest thou, I ask.
They whisper not of the journey.
I wonder if those coming
behind me
see these days coming toward.


Do I warn them to be careful,
to observe and experience
each moment
knowing full well it is never to come again


or do I let it pass them by too,
knowing "someday" will come
and go
just as it has for me.



I believe I understand selfishness better now.


One I know of says
it is the journey
not the arrival.
Has he figured out yet
that it is nothing but the
journey,
that one never truly arrives.

an endless cycle of experience,
contemplation,
and re-experience -
a karmic wheel through
which we see this world.

The only limitations to this
we set upon ourselves,
the most vile and destructive
of which is
TIME.

You see, time does not exist.
It is an illusion of
clocks and counting,
the movement of planets,
the aging of DNA.

Were it not our desperate
need to define,
to hold onto,
to control
(all of which is also an
illusion,)
nothing else in our world
would note such things.

We damn ourselves
to note our fleeting,
futile lives by the
ticking of a self-created
measurement.


What happens when the alarm goes off?